Tuesday Teaser Time!!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Hey everyone. Here's my new intro for Demon At My Door, thought I'd see what you guys think since I suck at opening. :)

Snipped

22 comments:

Aimee said...

Oh my goodness! I want more. I like ths opening, a lot.

houndrat ( Debra Driza ) said...

Oh, man--disappearing lifelines? Soul stealing 5 yr olds? Paranoid schizos--or not? Count me hooked! Plus, love the voice--woot!

Becca said...

Dude, this voice is awesome!! :D

LizPage said...

Eek! This is creepy and awesome. I love the sarcastic voice.

CupofDice said...

Amazing opening, so stop complaining! :D The right amount of info, character building, and 'course conflict. Cool to see someone else doing a Demon story too. ;)

Amanda said...

I think is opening is awesome! It defintely drew me in!

Sumayyah said...

Wow - the line about the soul stealing five year old bastard had me hooked! The flow is great and the way she picks up details about the doctors office is wonderful! Great job! :)

Krista Ashe said...

FABULOUS!!! I loved it the other night, and I totally love it today!! The life line part is killer. Can't wait to beta this!!

Raven said...

This is a fab opening! A five year old who steals souls?! I have to read more! Great tease :)

J.S. Wood said...

This. Is. So. Much. Better!!! I love the palm idea, very hooky.

Kathy Bradey said...

Love. This. Opening. Especially the squiggly lines on your palm thing. And a five year old who you speak so poorly of? Interesting stuff.

Kaitlin Ward said...

It's great! I love the snark, and the first couple paragraphs draw me in immediately.

Lost Crayons said...

Woah, cool! I love the disappearing lifeline thing, that's brilliant.

Paranormalchick said...

Thanks guys! I'm always so iffy on the openings. LOL

Stephanie Jenkins said...

Awesome start! I love that you're incorporating lifelines. *grins* Great teaser!

Angie said...

This is a great first page. I love the voice and the thing about a 5 year old stealing someone's soul is great! Loving it!

kk said...

Awesome and freaky.....I love it!

La-La-La-Laurie said...

Oo, I love this voice. And so intriguing about the lifelines. More please.

Kristin Miller said...

Good opening, a very interesting story unfolding here. The only thing I would say is not to give away too much at once. Give me some action, but don't tell me about 11 years ago just yet - save that for a bigger reveal.

Bee said...

This is such a cool teaser!
Fantastic opening. And LOVE that voice. Wicked!

Deniz Kuypers said...

Excellent, excellent opening paragraph! Really. Especially the twist in the last line.

Karla Calalang said...

This gave me the chills! I love this opening! The first paragraph was brilliant! Awesome job!

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