SNIP: Demon At My Door (Hot off the keys rough draft)
Scene: Party--my MC has been tricked into a room alone with a boy:
thanks for reading
Tuesday Teaser Time!!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
SNIP: Demon At My Door (Hot off the keys rough draft)
Scene: Party--my MC has been tricked into a room alone with a boy:
thanks for reading
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18 comments:
Ooh, I just wanted her to shriek and scream before caving so fast. I think that's, in part, because I felt as helpless as she did to stop Trevor.
Oo, Para, I missed reading your stuff! I love it - the tension is so real!
Scream! Scream! Oh, wait, this isn't real. This is so good, I felt like I was in her shoes.
How HORRIBLE! It made me feel so terrible for her :(
This was an intense scene, and you did it well. I agree with the other comments. My heart was beating quickly, and I just want to punch him a lot!! Ok, so who's at the door?!
OMG, that was so terrible. That made me squirm, really got under my skin. Good job.
That was awful. Not the writing. The writing was great. But the scene, the almost rape, so unnerving. A really great teaser.
Man--love the details you have in that last part: the smells, etc! It really brought this scene home! So tense!
I do think I'd like to see her struggle a little more--maybe she can and he can punch her?--before she just blanks out! Or not--up to you! ;)
Great stuff, though--really. Totally got under my skin. Bleh, makes me sad I'll probably have to cut my almost rape scene, lol--does that mean I'm warped? :)
Oh, thank god for the knock on the door! I read this enthralled! What happens next?
Oh I want to know who is behind that door?
This is powerful stuff. Even though I'm a guy, I could really feel your MC's emotions. Well done!!
Read most of this last night, but as always, it hits powerfully with description and structure. Lovely job :)
OMG I was seriously hoping she would be okay by the time she was done! Glad someone got to them! Great writing!
This gave me goosebumps. This was so intense and I'm glad someone knocked on the door, I hope they help Nat out and I hope something really bad happens to Trevor.
Great job!
That was so intense!
OMG My heart is POUNDING! I'm sitting here thinking, BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA HIM. SCREAM. DO SOMETHING. hahaha Totally unnerved me. :D
LOL! what great comments since I was here last.
Annie, please stop by my blog for an award!
Thanks for the shout out Tere!!! *HUGS* You rock! :D
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